Honey, I don't envy you even though I fear that I will always be the weaker one; it's not a secret that you own what I
am
and what I
was
and I find the time to grieve instead of wishing for your touch
to be softer than my thoughts
(every time I open my mind something sharp ends up closing in)
when capturing my disappointments and
shaking
me by
feeding them
you coldly press your shoulders into ribs made to break
*
I shiver when you're close knowing that you don't feel and I
bend
when you
blow
since I wonder where the air comes from
(is it stolen from me or those people you couldn't find the courage to love?)
*
*
and Sweetie I know that you will never be the coragous one; in times of
trials
and
trials
and
mortality
you creep behind ladders and hide under corners in hopes of imitating my undeniable invisibility
you creep behind ladders and hide under corners in hopes of imitating my undeniable invisibility
*
I remember, even though I'll never admit it, those times when I begged for some comfort some stability some
hardcore protection
when you held me uncomfortably you spun me unstable and did all you could to feed my
demons
muffeled my pleas with hands stronger than frailty
*
oh no, Darling you are
cursed
when you curse me
you are
fear
when you scare
and don't pretend that you are nothing but loathing
*
I wish I was stronger and able to crush but instead I pray to your stature
- I supplicate, plead, implore -
let me in let me feel let me heal, stay,
be
please release your grip since you know that I can't
leave
you have me in
chains
so just stop holding on and give me a much needed chance to
catch
my
breath